“Not There Yet Was”

Life

a thousand poems a second

the number may be off

light joining & creating

points oft too many return

Spirals on the inside

in & out of control

spirals on the outside

out & in of my soul

Soul

separate from the mind & body

never created or destroyed

lives on forever

like a child’s favorite toy

Love

ebbing up from all too still lightless deep

To hold, but not to have

always here

in some form or another

Tears

for yourself or the others

for your sisters & your brothers

or some intangible thing

more of them does not closeness bring

Cats

meowing in the darkness

howling in the light

mewling for affection

hissing at fright

Limbic System

should I stay or should I go?

one more clash

thunders crashed

& lightning glowed

Electricity

nervous nervous system

connecting my thoughts

in fragmented plane

piece it together

as together as rain

Water

uncorrupted I can finally see

If you are here you are meant to be

Sun Ra

The Beast, The Be-ist

To not the beist

THAT is the answer

Question

quest

illus

ion

Friends

keep me alive, keep me aware, keep me from finding out I’m not there

keep me from keepin’ me stuck in a place

meet them there and enjoy the race

the marathon of life, in which nobody wins

all jogged out, managed to gain some new sins

put the old ones down, until they came up again, were they sins or just life lessons?

Now what is a sin, something that does harm?

Breathe the fire, set the alarms

Little switches in my involuntary self

What is self?

On a physical level, does it include the guts?

Of course it does  poetic putz

It was just a mirror & we all get uglier everyday

But then one night, I went to bed, I hit the hay I then woke up, convinced everything was okay

    It was more than that, it was a beautiful dream, marred by nightmares and the obscene

 The obtuse scene, the abstruse scene, obnormal, abnormal, have you seen the scene?

    I think I heard somebody tuning up in my inner symphony

Trust

trust it all & you won’t be believed

trust that everything is unbelievable

Love

we are back here again

it must mean something

the average sum of the thing

mean, median, & end

I think I just felt the flap of an angel’s wing

dust came off

it must be spring

There’s music in the words

a science to the beat

one two three four five six eight

A violin played my spine

but never made it to my neck

a guillotine took its place

now I’m less than a speck

I’m just a dot

on this pointilist plane

every dot had been replaced with a different color

at one time or another

yet it’s basically the same

The same pain thing

I mean

Painting

How many atoms in one quark?

How many atoms in one bark?

Adam’s Eve was a bombshell

Will

         Atom’s eve               leave a bombshell

Would

will, would

free would

chopping  blocks

for invisible clocks

Stay here

stay now

now’s gone

left with then

right with there

there was here

there was now

there was then

there was also where

not there yet was